The Mancathlon is an annual competition, comprising 10 Events and one Bonus Round, designed to test the “full spectrum of manliness” – including speed, strength, agility, intelligence and creativity. Each year a group of Mancathletes duke it out over a series of weekend contests for the chance to be crowned The Big Chief and earn their place in immortality on The Mancathlon Trophy. In any given event the winner receives 5 Precious Mancathlon Points, the runner up gets 4 points and so on down the first 5 place holders. The season culminates in the Grand Finale followed immediately by the Awards Ceremony. In addition to the Champ’s Trophy there is the “Spirit of The Mancathlon” Award which is voted for by the Mancathletes and given to the man who best embodied the finer qualities of the competition in his effort and conduct throughout the season; and the unfortunate “I Lost The Mancathlon” Trophy for the least awesome performance by a Mancathlete that year. Oh yeah, The Mancathlon 2010, it’s on like Kong!
In the Beginning…
In the beginning, there was nothing. And then, there was some stuff. For a long time there was just a bunch of stuff until…there was The Mancathlon. From its humble beginnings on a barroom napkin to its current status as a legend in its own lunchtime The Mancathlon is one of those success stories that bring a tear to the eye, a lump to the throat and a slight stiffening to the nipples. An extremely rare example of a beer-fueled bullshit session actually emerging fully formed into reality, The Mancathlon is now entering its fifth year of existence. Will this Mighty Contest continue from strength to glorious strength, or it will it implode amidst bitter rivalries, splinter groups and pointless litigation? Wait and see…
The Trophy
Sports Entertainment’s Richest Prize – The Mancathlon Trophy. Crafted from the finest plastic and bronze, and emblazoned with a Badass Screaming Eagle representing The Mancathlon’s official motto “Aquila Non Capit Muscas” plus a list of every Big Chief ever crowned. Yessir, she’s one sweet item. Bet you’d like to see this little number sitting prominently on your mantelpiece? Blinding visitors with its awesome radiance, melting hearts and evaporating panties. Well guess what fool? You can’t have it! Unless you’re the Big Chief that is. Get used to it, there can be only one…
The Big Chief
Every man is a potential Mancathlete. Can you throw stuff? Can you run in a straight line? Can you drink beers and trash-talk? Can you get up on a stage and belt out a soft rock classic? Sure, hey, we all can. But only a select few men have within them the potentiality to become something more than the average Mancathlete. Only a select few have that bright fire burning within their chest, that hunger for more, that drive and lust to be the greatest. And when a man claws his way to the top of the heap, against a field of worthy opponents and through a series of manful challenges that encompass speed, strength, wit and creativity then that man earns the right to call himself…The Big Chief.
